Lesson with parents on the prevention of family conflicts. Summary of consultation for parents “Conflicts in the family and their impact on the development of the child’s personality

KMM "Pukhalskaya basic school" of the akimat of the Zerendinsky district

"Ways to resolve conflicts in the family"

work with parents of children GR

Conducted by: Satanova D.K.

2015-2016 oku zhyly

Purpose of the training: help parents analyze their parental behavior, focus on the positive aspects of raising a child, forms of showing love for a child.

Tasks:

Consider the positive and negative aspects of the educational influence of parents on the child.

Convince parents of the need for generous expressions of their unconditional parental love.

Equipment: drawings on the topic, slide presentation, video clips, drawing of a triangle, jug, hearts.

Participants: parents of children GR.

Progress of the training:

Introduction:

Parents are the first educators for their child and will remain so for life. After all, it is not for nothing that popular wisdom says: “the apple does not fall far from the tree,” “he absorbed his father with his mother’s milk.”

Every parent must understand that the teacher’s task, as a professional educator, is to help parents raise a worthy, educated citizen of our society, but not to replace them.

Conflict – is about to happen or has already happened. What to do?

Discussion with parents.

How to prevent conflict from arising?

The best way to resolve a conflict situation is to prevent it.

In order to prevent a conflict situation, it is important that each family member feels the atmosphere in it, then both spouses and children will notice the deterioration of the situation in time and will be able to each individually or jointly take measures to eliminate the causes of the brewing conflict.

How to end the conflict?

The most correct course of action in the presence of a conflict situation seems to be as follows:

Identify the cause of the conflict.

Determine the depth and degree of the conflict situation.

Outline ways out of the conflict.

Do not stop measures to eliminate the conflict situation until it is resolved

Aggressive behavior of a child is the most common way of responding to the behavior of adults and an attempt to assert their rights. Children are vulnerable, they are easy to deceive or offend, and in most cases, aggression is a way to defend their boundaries.

Now, I suggest you play a little.

Role-playing game "Smoothing Conflicts"

The presenter talks about the importance of such skills as the ability to quickly and effectively resolve conflicts; announces that now it is worth trying to experimentally find out the basic methods of conflict resolution.

Participants are divided into threes. For 5 minutes, each trio comes up with a scenario in which two participants represent conflicting parties (for example, quarreling spouses), and the third plays a peacemaker, an arbiter.

The facilitator brings up the following questions for discussion:

What conflict resolution techniques have been demonstrated?

What interesting things do you think the participants used during the game?

How should those participants who failed to smooth out the conflict behave?

Purpose of the exercise: to develop skills in resolving conflicts.

If..., I would...

The exercise takes place in a circle: one participant sets a condition that specifies a certain conflict situation. For example: “If I were shortchanged in a store...”. The next person sitting next to him continues (finishes) the sentence. For example: "... I would demand a complaint book."

The presenter notes that both conflict situations and solutions to them can be repeated.

Purpose of the exercise: to develop skills for quickly responding to a conflict situation.

Discussion.

Well, now, let’s conduct a training called “Let’s start with ourselves.”

While teaching a child at school, we (children, teachers, parents) make a triangle.

( Drawing 1)

The main vertex of the triangle, of course, is the child. His task, while learning new things, is to discover himself for himself (what I can do, what I can do, what I am capable of). And the task of adults is to help him in this very difficult matter.

What happens to a three-legged stool if one leg breaks? It will fall!

And what is said in I.A.’s fable? Krylov's "Swan, once and pike"? “When there is no agreement among the comrades, their business will not go well, and what will come out of it is nothing but torment.”

Hence the conclusion: we should combine our efforts to ensure that the child lives and works well in his “second” home - at school.

The participation of parents in the school life of their children is of great importance for the children, for the teachers, and for the parents themselves.

Dear parents, I have prepared a parable for our training, and I want to tell it to you.

Parable.

People lived unreasonable lives and came to an abyss. Next - death!

What should we do, who will save us? – people got worried. Let's go to the sage.

With the rising of the Morning Star the Traveler of Eternity will come. He will save you! - the sage told them.

People stood by the road all night and waited for the rising of the Morning Star: they had to meet the Traveler of Eternity.

Not him... And this one is not him... And that one is not him... - people said, seeing the early ones hurrying.

One was not dressed in white clothes - that means it wasn’t him. The second one did not have a long snow-white beard - neither was he. The third did not hold a staff in his hands and did not look tired - that means it was not him either.

The first morning star has risen. Somewhere a lark began to sing. Somewhere a child began to cry.

But then the Morning Star rose.

People stared at the road - where is the Traveler?

Somewhere a lark began to sing.

Somewhere a foal neighed.

Somewhere a child began to cry.

But people did not see the Traveler of Eternity on the road.

They came to the sage with a complaint:

Where is the promised Traveler of Eternity?

(-Have you, dear parents, guessed who he was?)

Did you hear the baby crying? - asked the sage.

But this is the cry of a newborn! - the people answered.

He is the Traveler of Eternity! He is your savior!

This is how people saw the child - their hope.

Conversation with parents.

The child is the Traveler of Eternity! The salvation of the human race depends on him. And why?

After all, it is he who will live in the future.

The soul of a child is a full cup (on the board there is a cup cut out of paper)

( Drawing 2)

What kind of person do you want your child to be? (What character traits should he have? What qualities would you like to give him?)

Each of you and I have hearts, place them in a bowl and name the quality that you want to give to your child.

(Using tape, parents, naming the quality, “place” the heart in the bowl)

( Drawing 3)

Kind, smart, generous, strong, fair, healthy, caring...

Look what a bright, beautiful soul the child has! And what should adults be like, among whom a child lives, so that this cup does not spill, does not break, but becomes even richer?

Kind, smart, generous, strong, fair, healthy, caring...

But which of us is not without sin? Everyone has a negative character trait that prevents us from being better people. For some it is laziness, for others it is greed, flattery, vanity, arrogance, cowardice...

Let's think about the words of L.N. Tolstoy: “The main mistake of parents is that they try to raise their children without raising themselves!”

Let's try to get rid of at least one flaw here and now. Let's each write this line on our own piece of paper. Now let’s crush him and throw him into the “cup of deliverance.” So, we got rid of our vices, and we felt lighter and freer in our souls.

Let's summarize our meeting.

Today we talked about the topic “Ways to resolve conflicts in the family.” Do you think there are conflicts that cannot be resolved?

What can and should be done to ensure that conflicts do not occur in the family, or if they do occur, we would find a solution?

Discussion, parents' answers.

Dear ones scold - they just amuse themselves... Oh, I haven’t seen many couples who amuse themselves with quarrels. Prevention of family conflicts suggests that a quarrel will always remain a quarrel, a violation of relationships, which are not always successfully restored later. Well, who likes quarrels? Few people, but for some reason in families you can often hear screams, accusations, insults, and sometimes dishes break, and even televisions...

According to search engine statistics, many more family people search for an answer to the question of how to resolve conflicts, rather than an answer to how to prevent them. In my opinion, this is somehow incorrect. However, probably our mentality is this: we don’t think about a healthy lifestyle, but we are happy to undergo treatment and again live as before. It’s the same in family relationships: we think about how to resolve conflicts, but we don’t care about preventing them. Some say that conflict is just a disagreement, and there should be different opinions in the family. But today we will talk about negative conflicts, which are not simply expressing different points of view.

Prevention of family conflicts helps spouses to resolve disagreements correctly, without bringing them to a critical point. I recently read a thought on one website that struck a chord with me:

“The exchange of hostility, the ‘dumping’ of negative emotions, is necessary for the exchange of love to function properly.”

I wouldn’t want people to exchange hostility with me and dump negativity on me :) I suggest not to mock your loved one, but to learn such relationships so that all issues can be resolved amicably. Well, if you want to scream and break dishes, then don’t waste your energy! After all, negative energy is very powerful and can help you do such things! – for example, to make repairs in the house. I had this happen in my life - out of anger, in two days I re-pasted the wallpaper in my apartment with my one-and-a-half-year-old daughter in my arms, who was covered in paste and wallpaper. Now I can just imagine such a feat - the hair on my head rises, and then - all in more than one breath!

Okay, I’ll finish my lyrical digression about the need prevention of family conflicts and I'll get down to business. What can you do to ensure that children don’t huddle in a corner because of squabbles between parents, neighbors don’t knock on the radiators trying to calm you down, and all problems in relationships are solved with “little blood”?

1. Learn to communicate. The psychology of family relationships says that quality is one of the trump cards that helps to resist problems. Communication in a marriage must be done on a deep level. Spouses should be able to share with each other not only the events of the day, but also feelings and emotions about one thing or another.

2. Have fun together. We can spend money on spending time with friends, but we feel bad about spending money on spending time with our spouse. As a result, this leads to boredom in family relationships, dissatisfaction and, as a result, tension in relationships.

3. Study your spouse. Do you know the temperament of your other half, the language of love, what makes him (her) happy and what makes him sad? How can you agree with him (her) how much time he (she) needs to think? For example, Dima has a phlegmatic temperament; he cannot make decisions right away. If Lena, his wife, demands an immediate solution to the problem, Dima gets angry and a conflict arises. Knowing this (at least from the practical experience of past quarrels), Lena should throw out the idea she wants to talk about in advance. You can say in passing: “Dima, it brings families together so much if they go on vacation somewhere together on weekends. Maybe we should go somewhere?” If Dima answers: “Maybe...” this will be enough for the first time. By the way, not only phlegmatic people think for a long time, but also many men, since they tend to weigh everything due to the fact that they feel responsible for the family. And sometimes they prefer not to make any decision than to make the wrong one or with consequences.

4. Show love to your significant other. Again, to show love to your spouse, you need to know and speak the language of love. A person who is sure that he is loved does not take criticism so painfully and is ready to make concessions to his loved one.

5. Meet your spouse's needs. If there is dissatisfaction in the family, every little thing will lead to conflicts. Understand each other, look for what is important to each of you, then you will appreciate each other and take care of each other. And your loved one will not want to spoil the mood...

6. Recognize critical points in the family. These are the points that cause problems over and over again. Look at the list and identify your critical points:

- the need for the value and importance of one of the partners is not satisfied, the sense of dignity is violated in various ways, there is a disdainful attitude;
- infidelity or problems of a sexual nature;
- lack of attention, affection, care, gifts, understanding;
- how to spend time together, hobbies and interests;
— ;
- bad habits of one of the spouses, gambling or computer games;
— creation and ;
- household duties, home improvement;
- the need for mutual assistance, mutual support, cooperation on issues of division of labor in the family, housekeeping, and child care.

It is a couple of critical points that often spoil family relationships. Knowing about them, try to approach their resolution carefully, do not rush, be patient. It may take time, psychological help, and reading literature on this topic so that the problem can be resolved. Talk to your partner periodically about these topics and help each other understand this issue.

If there is still a problem, then:

- solve the problem as it arises, and do not accumulate them until the time when you can no longer talk calmly. If you are extremely irritated and filled with negativity, then you should not pour it out on your soulmate. Maybe the person himself understands that he did something wrong. In any case, in this state you will clearly get a full-fledged conflict, but we don’t need it now, because we are talking about prevention :).

- choose the right time to discuss the problem. You should not be tired, irritated, hungry;

— conduct the conversation in a calm tone, inviting your spouse to discuss the issue with you;

- do not attack your spouse, do not criticize, do not blame;

— voice the problem, explain why its solution is important to you, ask how your other half sees the solution to the situation;

- do not intend to immediately solve the problem, let the solution mature and return to it, if possible, later;

- show that you are also ready to do something to correct the situation, and do not hint that everything should be decided by your spouse;

- know how to forgive;

- use a sense of humor in your conversation.

In general, as I already said in the article “,” a woman often shows a man how to conduct conversations, how to communicate, and treat children, because it is she who creates the psychological atmosphere in the house. Therefore, a woman should not be hysterical, slam the door, cry, etc. A calm, friendly conversation helps to resolve the situation more successfully. Although, you must admit, there are many examples that a man fulfills a woman’s request much faster after women’s hysterics. However, even the most persistent man can get tired of such “requests” and one day he may do something unusual, for example, slam the door and leave for the whole night...

He understands that having good family relationships is not so easy: you have to work hard and be disappointed. In practice, things don't look as easy as they do on paper. But believe me, it is very important for family relationships, which can bring joy and confidence in the future.

If it’s not difficult for you, click on the beautiful button :)

In contact with

family conflict education personality

Many family problems did not arise yesterday. Single-parent families, divorces, marital conflicts, problems of loneliness existed in the past, but did not attract such close attention. In addition, the person himself has become more demanding in love, in spiritual intimacy and mutual understanding, and sex. But everyone has their own path to happiness. Getting married does not guarantee a person complete happiness or resolution of all problems at once. People in families strive to satisfy the needs for love, children, understanding, etc. Most people take marriage seriously. They hope to live a long and happy life together. Why do conflicts arise and what is it?

All people are not the same, and, as everyone knows, everyone has a different attitude towards love. Young people often do not understand that family is the ability and desire to give happiness to another person, a constant search for ways to maintain relationships and love. It’s a pity when grievances have already filled the cup of patience and nothing can be returned.

Conflict is a clash of opposing opinions, views, interests and needs. Each of us can identify several reasons that cause frequent conflicts in the family:

• different views on family life;
• unmet needs and empty expectations;
• drunkenness of one of the spouses;
• infidelity; disrespectful attitude towards each other;
• reluctance to participate in raising children;
• household unsettlement;
• disrespect for relatives;
• reluctance to help around the house;
• differences in spiritual interests;
• selfishness;
• mismatch of temperaments;
• jealousy, etc.

These are not all the reasons that cause conflicts in the family. Most often there are several reasons, and the last one is not the main one.

In domestic conflictology, all family conflicts are usually divided into three classification groups based on the grounds of conflict interaction:

Based on the subjects, family conflicts are divided into three subgroups:

1 Marital conflicts

2 Conflicts between parents and children;

3 Conflicts between relatives.

According to the source of origin, family conflicts are divided into five subgroups:

1 Value conflicts;

2 Positional conflicts;

3 Sexual conflicts;

4 Emotional conflicts;

5 Economic conflicts;

Based on the behavior of the conflicting parties, two subgroups are distinguished:

1 Open conflicts;

2 Hidden conflicts.

And in all respects of a seemingly successful family, such a phenomenon as a conflict between a child or a parent may arise. Some parents believe that problems in children only exist in dysfunctional families. However, this opinion is wrong. It would seem that the child is given enough time, but for some reason he becomes aggressive or, on the contrary, withdraws into himself or in some other way demonstrates that not everything is so smooth. For what reasons do children have problems in the family? In a number of situations, parents tend to blame the school, the dysfunctional company with which the child communicates. Although in fact you should pay attention to the situation within the family. Many factors influence a child’s behavior in the family, but the relationship between parents plays a huge role. Many people are often perplexed as to why their son or daughter is having problems.

Very often, due to their vulnerability, children are identified as patients. The symptoms can be anything: school performance, poor discipline, various diseases of the child (for example, enuresis), all kinds of fears and phobias, etc. As a result, the attention and care that he so lacked was received. Even if it’s in this form, it’s better than nothing. A way to solve the problem has been found - in order for parents not to forget it, the child must study poorly. When an identified patient appears in a family, the whole family, as a rule, sees the problem only in him and seeks help in connection with him, formulating his request in the following spirit: “what should we do with this child?”, or “do what with him?” something!" The paradox is that it is impossible to help such children without changing the existing system of relationships in the family, which led to the problem. If, without understanding this, you try to influence only the child, then nothing will work.

There are many ineffective ways to resolve family conflicts, the use of which can not only take away your precious time, but also aggravate the conflict in the family. To resolve conflict situations in your family, it is best to seek help from family psychologists, rather than test the advice of neighbors, acquaintances or parents in your family life. It is impossible for there to be no conflicts in the family at all, since a feature of family relationships is that people of the opposite sex get married with completely different life histories and different upbringings, and at the same time they are forced to somehow get along with each other under the same roof. All that can be done in this case is to prevent family conflicts.

Workshop on conflict management Stanislav Mikhailovich Emelyanov

Prevention and resolution of family conflicts

Prevention and resolution of family conflicts should be considered as the main activities for managing such conflicts. Often, when resolving family conflicts, they use the services of a mediator.

Prevention of family conflicts depends on all family members and, above all, on the spouses. It should be borne in mind that some minor family quarrels can have a positive direction, helping to reach agreement on controversial issues and preventing a larger conflict. But in most cases, family conflicts should not be allowed. The main ways to prevent family conflicts depend on the potential subjects of conflict interaction (spouses, parents, children, relatives, etc.). For each specific case, you can find useful advice in the recommended literature. Here we will name only the most general ways to prevent family conflicts, arising from the socio-psychological patterns of family development. These ways are:

Formation of psychological and pedagogical culture, knowledge of the basics of family relationships (primarily this concerns spouses);

Raising children taking into account their individual psychological and age characteristics, as well as emotional states;

Organizing a family on a full-fledged basis, forming family traditions, developing mutual assistance, mutual responsibility, trust and respect;

Formation of a culture of communication.

Resolution of family conflicts can be ensured by reaching agreement on controversial issues. This is the most favorable option for resolving any family conflicts. But there are other forms of resolving such conflicts that are not constructive. An example of this could be the departure of children from the family, deprivation of parental rights, etc. Such permission places a heavy burden on parents or children and causes them severe emotional and psychological experiences.

A special form of resolving marital conflicts is divorce. For many, divorce brings relief from accumulated problems. But often it satisfies the interests of only one of the parties and causes severe neuropsychic experiences in the other. Divorce has particular negative consequences for children. In addition, one should keep in mind the fact that as a result of divorce, society receives a defective family, and this in turn gives rise to crime, drug addiction and other forms of deviant behavior among adolescents.

Sources for in-depth study of the topic

1. Antsupov A. Ya., Shipilov A. I. Conflictology. – M.: UNITY, 1999. – Ch. 25.

2. Druzhinin V.N. Family psychology. – M.: KSP, 1996.

3. Sulimova M. S. Social work and constructive conflict resolution. – M., Institute of Practical Sciences. psychology, 1996. – pp. 44–45.

4. Sysenko V. A. Marital conflicts. – M.: Mysl, 1989.

5. Kozyrev G. I. Introduction to conflictology: Textbook. – M.: Vlados, 1999. – Ch. IV.

Control questions

1. Give a definition of family conflicts.

2. List and reveal the features of family conflicts.

3. List the causes of conflicts in the family.

4. Name the social factors of the micro- and macroenvironment that cause family conflicts.

5. Give a classification of family conflicts.

6. Name the periods of crisis in the family.

7. List ways to prevent family conflicts.

8. Name and disclose the main forms of resolving family conflicts.

9. List the causes of marital conflicts.

10. List the causes of conflicts between parents and children.