Read 1,000,000 Adventures Chapter 4 e-book. Kir Bulychev - a million adventures

Kir Bulychev

A Million Adventures

A Million Adventures

New labors of Hercules

Augean laboratory

The spring morning began peacefully, but ended in a big scandal.

Arkasha came first, as always. He hurried to the plot where he grew sentient flowers. All plants can feel, but try to understand their feelings.

At the sight of Arkasha, the flowers nodded their heads; they opened the petals, moved the leaves and feigned joy. Arkasha connected the hose and began to water his pets with warm vitamin water.

Then Javad came. He fed the animals in the cages and released the Pithecanthropus Hercules, who immediately rushed to the house where three dogs were spending the night - Polkan, Ruslan and Sultan, who, oddly enough, were sisters. The dogs worked for geologists in the summer and searched for ore and fossil bones deep underground by smell. But the season had not yet begun, so the sisters were on vacation and were friends with Hercules. And he skillfully used this friendship and had breakfast twice - at his place and at the dogs'.

The twins Masha and Natasha came running, thin, big-eyed, with identical abrasions on their knees. They are so similar that you can’t tell them apart, but in fact they are completely different people. Masha is serious and assures that she only loves science. And Natasha is terribly frivolous and loves not so much science as animals and dancing. At the sight of Masha and Natasha, the dolphins Grishka and Medea leaned out of the pool up to their waists - they had missed each other overnight.

Alisa Selezneva was late. She went to the Space Center to arrange an excursion to the planet Penelope. But Alice was told that it was unknown whether there would be places, and she was asked to come in a month. Alice was upset; she didn’t even notice how Hercules approached with his hand outstretched. Either he wanted to say hello, or he was hoping for a treat.

Alice disappeared into a low laboratory building to leave her bag there and change clothes, and when she came out, she angrily declared:

This is not a laboratory, but an Augean stables!

Hercules, who was waiting for her at the entrance, did not answer anything, because he had never read Greek myths, and besides, he knew only edible words. No matter how much he was taught, he did not go beyond the words “banana”, “apple”, “milk”, “sugar”.

But Mashenka Belaya heard Alice’s exclamation.

Of course,” she said. - Pashka Geraskin sat there until late at night yesterday, but didn’t bother to clean up after himself.

“And here he is,” said Natasha Belaya. - Easy to remember.

Pashka Geraskin slowly walked towards the station along the coconut alley and read a book as he walked. On the cover it was written in large letters:

"Myths of Ancient Greece".

Pay attention,” Mashenka Belaya said sarcastically. - This young man wants to know how the Augean stables are cleaned.

Pashka heard, stopped, laid the page with his finger and said:

I can tell you that Hercules means “performing feats due to the persecution of Hera.” By the way, Hera is the wife of Zeus.

Pithecanthropus Hercules heard his name and said:

Give me a banana.

Pashka looked at him thoughtfully and said:

No, you won’t accomplish any feats. Didn't grow taller.

Listen, Pashka,” said Alice gloomily. - What did you do in the laboratory? You might think that no one had cleaned it there for thirty years.

“When I have ideas,” Pashka answered, “I don’t pay attention to the little things in life.”

“And we are converting,” said Mashenka.

Don’t make noise,” said Pashka. - I'll clean everything up. In half an hour everything will be in order.

The legend is fresh, but hard to believe,” said Arkasha. “I suggest taking away Pashka’s book while cleaning: he’ll read it and forget everything.”

After a short fight, Pashka lost his book and retired to the laboratory to lick his wounds and think about revenge.

He didn’t want to clean, it was a boring task. He went to the window. Mashenka was sitting on the edge of the pool, cards with numbers were laid out next to her. The dolphins were cramming the multiplication table. Next to her, Natasha was weaving a wreath of the first yellow dandelions. Javad was arguing with Alice about something, and a boring, stupid, curious giraffe, the Villain, with one horn in the middle of his forehead, towered over them.

Current page: 1 (book has 18 pages total) [available reading passage: 5 pages]

Kir Bulychev
A Million Adventures

Part I
New labors of Hercules

Chapter 1
Augean laboratory

The spring morning began peacefully, but ended in a big scandal.

Arkasha came first, as always. He hurried to the plot where he grew sentient flowers. All plants can feel, but try to understand their feelings.

At the sight of Arkasha, the flowers nodded their heads; they opened the petals, moved the leaves and feigned joy. Arkasha connected the hose and began to water his pets with warm vitamin water.

Then Javad came. He fed the animals in the cages and released the Pithecanthropus Hercules, who immediately rushed to the house where three dogs were spending the night - Polkan, Ruslan and Sultan, who, oddly enough, were sisters. The dogs worked for geologists in the summer and searched for ore and fossil bones deep underground by smell. But the season had not yet begun, so the sisters were on vacation and were friends with Hercules. And he skillfully used this friendship and had breakfast twice – at his place and at the dogs’.

The twins Masha and Natasha came running, thin, big-eyed, with identical abrasions on their knees. They are so similar that you can’t tell them apart, but in fact they are completely different people. Masha is serious and assures that she only loves science. And Natasha is terribly frivolous and loves not so much science as animals and dancing. At the sight of Masha and Natasha, the dolphins Grishka and Medea leaned out of the pool up to their waists - they had missed each other overnight.

Alisa Selezneva was late. She went to the Space Center to arrange an excursion to the planet Penelope. But Alice was told that it was unknown whether there would be places, and she was asked to come in a month. Alice was upset; she didn’t even notice how Hercules approached with his hand outstretched. Either he wanted to say hello, or he was hoping for a treat.

Alice disappeared into a low laboratory building to leave her bag there and change clothes, and when she came out, she angrily declared:

– This is not a laboratory, but the Augean stables!

Hercules, who was waiting for her at the entrance, did not answer anything, because he had never read Greek myths, and besides, he knew only edible words. No matter how much he was taught, he did not go beyond the words “banana”, “apple”, “milk”, “sugar”.

But Mashenka Belaya heard Alice’s exclamation.

“Of course,” she said. “Pashka Geraskin sat there until late at night yesterday, but didn’t bother to clean up after himself.

“And here he is,” said Natasha Belaya. - Easy to remember.

Pashka Geraskin slowly walked towards the station along the coconut alley and read a book as he walked. On the cover it was written in large letters: “Myths of Ancient Greece.”

“Pay attention,” Mashenka Belaya said sarcastically. “This young man wants to know how the Augean stables are cleaned.”

Pashka heard, stopped, laid the page with his finger and said:

– I can tell you that Hercules means “performing feats due to the persecution of Hera.” By the way, Hera is the wife of Zeus.

Pithecanthropus Hercules heard his name and said:

- Give me a banana.

Pashka looked at him thoughtfully and said:

- No, you won’t accomplish any feats. Didn't grow taller.

“Listen, Pashka,” said Alice gloomily. – What did you do in the laboratory? You might think that no one had cleaned it there for thirty years.

“When I have ideas,” Pashka answered, “I don’t pay attention to the little things in life.”

“And we are converting,” said Mashenka.

“Don’t make noise,” said Pashka. - I'll clean everything up. In half an hour everything will be in order.

“The legend is fresh, but hard to believe,” said Arkasha. “I suggest taking the book away from Pashka while cleaning: he’ll read it and forget everything.”

After a short fight, Pashka lost his book and retired to the laboratory to lick his wounds and think about revenge.

He didn’t want to clean, it was a boring task. He went to the window. Mashenka was sitting on the edge of the pool, cards with numbers were laid out next to her. The dolphins were cramming the multiplication table. Next to her, Natasha was weaving a wreath of the first yellow dandelions. Javad was arguing with Alice about something, and a boring, stupid, curious giraffe, the Villain, with one horn in the middle of his forehead, towered over them.

“How did I manage to make such a mess?” – Pashka was amazed.

Scattered on the floor were crumpled sheets of paper, scraps of tapes, soil samples, branches, orange peels, shavings, fragments of broken flasks, slides, nut shells - traces of yesterday's hectic activity, when Pashka was seized by the brilliant idea of ​​​​creating an animal without lungs and gills for life in airless space. The idea burst at about eleven o'clock, just then his mother called and demanded that he come home.

There are disadvantages, Pashka thought, to the fact that you are an enthusiast and live among enthusiasts. The guys, including Pashka, spent all their free time at the station, rushing straight from school to their animals and plants, and on Saturday and Sunday they often sat there from morning to evening. Pashka’s mother grumbled that he had completely abandoned sports and was making mistakes in his essays. And during the holidays, the guys were going to the planet Penelope, to real, unexplored jungles - would you really refuse that?

Sighing, Pashka took a sponge and began to wipe the laboratory table, throwing unnecessary rubbish onto the floor. “It’s a pity,” he thought, “that the book of myths was taken away. Now I would like to read how Hercules cleaned the Augean stables. Maybe he was cheating?

When Javad looked into the laboratory half an hour later, Pashka had already wiped all the tables, put the flasks and microscopes in their places, put the instruments in the cabinets, but there was more garbage on the floor.

– How long will you continue to dig? – Javad asked. - May I help?

“I’ll manage,” said Pashka. - Five more minutes.

He shoveled the garbage towards the middle of the room with a brush, making a mountain almost up to his waist.

Javad left, and Pashka stopped in front of the mountain and thought about how to take it out in one go.

At that moment, the face of Pithecanthropus Hercules appeared in the open window. At the sight of the trash, he even groaned with pleasure.

And Pashka had a happy thought.

“Come here,” he said.

Hercules immediately jumped out the window.

“I entrust you with a matter of great importance,” said Pashka. – If you take all this out of our Augean laboratory, you will get a banana.

Hercules thought, strained his undeveloped brain and said:

- Two bananas.

“Okay, two bananas,” Pashka agreed. “I have to run home now so that everything is clean when I arrive.”

“Bu-sde,” said the Pithecanthropus.

Pashka’s request did not surprise Hercules. It was often used in all sorts of jobs where great intelligence was not required. True, he didn’t do anything for free.

Pashka looked out the window. No one. He jumped over the window sill and ran home.

Hercules looked at the trash and scratched the back of his head. The pile was big, you couldn’t take it out at once. And Hercules was a great lazy man. He thought for a full minute about how to earn bananas without effort. And I realized.

In the clearing next to the laboratory there was a watering hose. Hercules knew how to use it, and in hot weather he lay in wait for passers-by, doused them from head to toe and hooted with joy.

He jumped out of the laboratory, turned the tap and launched a stream of water into the laboratory. The stream was not strong, and a large puddle immediately appeared on the floor in which garbage was spinning. This did not satisfy Pithecanthropus. He turned the faucet all the way and, clutching the unruly end of the hose with his paws, directed a thick stream into the dirty swamp that used to be a laboratory.

The jet hit the trash. Papers, rags, fragments, pieces of wood were carried to the far wall. The hose twitched in the hands of Hercules, and it is not surprising that the stream also washed away what was on the tables - flasks, instruments, flasks and test tubes. It’s good that the microscope survived and the cabinets didn’t break.

The laboratory door swung open due to the pressure of water, and a mighty river burst out from there, which carried a lot of things, knocked Arkasha off her feet and swirled in whirlpools around the legs of the Villain’s giraffe.

It dawned on Hercules what he had done. He threw down the hose, quickly climbed up the mango tree, picked the fruit and began to clean it, pretending that he had nothing to do with it.

Pashka returned about five minutes later, when everyone had already scolded him to their hearts' content. In the end, Natasha Belaya even felt sorry for him, because he was the most upset.

Arkasha returned him the book “Myths of Ancient Greece” and said:

– You haven’t read to the most interesting part and don’t know that our Pithecanthropus cleaned the laboratory according to an ancient recipe.

- How so? – Pashka was surprised.

– The real, ancient Hercules took the neighboring river to the Augean stables.

“It’s a complete coincidence,” said Mashenka Belaya. – With one exception: there were no microscopes in the Augean stables.

Chapter 2
The appearance of Hercules

We need to tell you where the Pithecanthropus came from at the biological station.

Alisa, Arkasha, Javad and Pashka Geraskin were at the Institute of Time.

They have long wanted to get there, but temporary cabins are scheduled between scientists a year in advance, and tourists are not allowed into the past. You never know what can happen!

Fortunately, Alisa Selezneva has great connections, including at this institute. She's already been there in the past.

One day a call rang at the biological station, and a curly-haired, thin young man named Richard Tempest appeared on the videophone screen.

“Suddenly a large cabin became vacant,” he said. - I agreed on everything. So one foot is there, the other is here.

Less than half an hour had passed before the biologists were already at the doors of the institute, where Richard was waiting for them.

“So,” he said, “you want to see when and how the monkey turned into a man?”

“That’s right,” Javad replied. – It is the duty of scientists to record this moment.

“Then please tell me,” Richard asked, leading the guys inside the huge building, “what date, month or at least year BC did this event take place?” By the way, tell me where in the world this happened...

“I won’t say exactly, but approximately...” Javad thought.

- Let's start with an approximate one.

– About a million to two million years ago.

Alice and Pashka laughed, and Richard wrote down this figure very seriously, sighed and said:

- Thanks for the info. Now tell me the place of this event.

“Somewhere in Africa or South Asia,” Javad answered.

“Very accurate,” Richard said and wrote it down. “So today we are going somewhere south, a million or two million years before our era.” And if you're lucky, we'll see how the monkey turned into a man.

Richard was joking. Scientists have long been interested in this problem and have flown into the past several times, looking for ancient people. Of course, no one saw how the monkey became a man, because such a moment never happened. But we managed to find a herd of our distant ancestors - Pithecanthropus on the island of Java.

First, Richard showed the biologists the Institute of Time.

There are three halls in total with cabins for traveling back in time. As you know, you can’t get into the future, because it doesn’t exist yet. There are as many departments as there are cabins. The first is historical. The temporary workers who work there write a detailed, accurate, illustrated history of humanity.

The guys ended up in a gallery where voluminous color photographs of famous people of the past hung. There were portraits of Homer, Joan of Arc, young Leonardo da Vinci and old Leonardo da Vinci, the leader of the Huns Attila and even Ilya Muromets, who turned out to be a young blue-eyed mustache. There were also thousands of paintings taken in various eras. For example, a bird's eye view of the city of Babylon, burning Rome set on fire by Nero, and even a village that once stood on the site of Moscow...

Pashka Geraskin, suffering from envy, whispered to Alice:

– I think I’ll leave biologists and become historians. They live very interesting lives.

“And I will never change biology,” Javad replied. – Historians only explain what happened, and we, biologists, change the world.

“It’s an empty argument,” Richard remarked, opening the door to the next room. – We all change the world, including historians. Our world has not existed for the first time and will not be the last. And when we learn new things about the past, we change not only the past, but also the present. It's clear?

They stopped in front of a large, three-meter portrait: a young beautiful woman with a curly-haired boy in her arms. The boy was upset about something and was about to burst into tears.

- Who is this? - asked Alice.

“A unique photo,” said Richard. “Our guys have been hunting for him for a year. Little Pushkin in his mother's arms.

- Wow! – Pashka gasped, entering the next room.

Here temporary historians stored their equipment: clothes, shoes, weapons, jewelry. Nearby were wardrobes with caftans and musketeer cloaks, boots and Roman sandals stood in formation, hats with feathers and green turbans with rubies and diamonds were piled up. Knights' armor lined up against the wall.

– Is this all real? – Pashka asked.

Nobody answered him. And it’s so clear that everything here comes from there. When a temporary worker goes into the past, he studies the language and customs of “his” time more carefully than the ancient spies. Then a special commission checks whether he is ready. If not, no one will let him go. Pashka’s legs were rooted to the floor—it was beyond his strength to leave here. Richard had to lead Pashka out of the hall by the hand.

The next floor of the institute was occupied by the research department. Specialists from various sciences work here. The past can provide answers to problems that cannot be solved today. Geologists are going back a billion years to find out how the earth's continents moved and how deep the primordial oceans were, botanists are bringing extinct plants from the past to use them in agriculture, astronomers are going to look with their own eyes at the solar eclipse that happened three thousand years ago in South India...

But the third department of the institute, where Richard did not take the guys, only told about it, seemed to Alice the most interesting. It was called: “Department for Correcting Historical Errors and Injustices.”

Entrance there is closed to outsiders, because temporary workers are engaged in such delicate and risky operations that any mistake can cost the entire Earth dearly.

“For example,” said Richard, “everyone knows that the writer Gogol burned the second volume of his novel “Dead Souls.” But any of us can read it.

“I have it at home,” said Pashka.

- Nothing surprising. And this is what happened: a temporary worker from the third department penetrated into the past, on the day when Gogol was about to burn his novel, and at the last moment managed to quietly replace it with a stack of blank paper. The course of history was not disrupted, but we, Gogol’s descendants, saw this novel.

- Well, what else? - asked Alice.

- More? Do you know about the Library of Alexandria?

“I heard,” said Arkasha. “It was in Egypt, in Alexandria, and burned down when Julius Caesar came there.

“Many thousands of papyri were lost in this huge library. And recently our institute decided to save this library. We managed to rescue three thousand eight hundred manuscripts from the burning building. Many times temporary workers went there, into the fire and smoke, returned scorched, half-suffocated, wounded, but immediately, having handed over the spoils, they hurried back...

– And the library of Ivan the Terrible? – Javad asked. – Has she been found yet?

“They’ll definitely find it,” said Richard. “She’s not going anywhere.” Okay, it’s time for us to go back in time ourselves.

We had to wait a few minutes in the research department hall. The cabin was still occupied; they were waiting for the physicists who had observed the fall of the Tunguska meteorite to return from the past.

Meanwhile, Richard showed the guests an experimental temporary screen. It hangs horizontally above the table. Everything that falls under it begins to move back in time. But not like in a cockpit, where a person can fly for a million years and not change at all. If you put a butterfly under the screen, after a while it will turn into a pupa, then into a caterpillar. If you put a rag down, it will turn into the tablecloth it once was. And if you put a piece of paper with erased letters, you will soon be able to see what was written on it before. This device was made at the request of restorers of old paintings and manuscripts, but it will probably be useful in other places.

The siren sounded - the physicists were returning.

The guys rushed into the hall so as not to miss this moment.

The cabin door opened and two people came out. They were dressed strangely - in quilted jackets and high boots.

One of the operators asked:

- Well? Have you seen it?

“We saw,” one of those who came answered tiredly, taking off his cap and wiping sweat from his forehead. – The comet nucleus, as I said.

“We’ll argue about this later,” answered the second one, throwing off the green backpack from his shoulders and carefully placing it on the floor. – Here are all the films, recordings and samples. But first I dream of taking a bath and forgetting about mosquitoes.

Before the physicists had time to leave the hall, a small, fragile woman ran up to the guys.

“Hurry,” she said. - Otherwise the astronomers will kick us out. They've been waiting for the cabin since yesterday morning. Richard, take them to the disinfection chamber. Give them masks and have them be here in five minutes. I'll type the code for now. Java, a million - twelve according to Petrov Curve, right?

In a few minutes, the guys were cleared of all germs - it’s impossible to bring some microscopic gift from the twenty-first century back into the past - they were given protective masks with a filter, and before they had time to come to their senses, they found themselves in a booth, which immediately began to hum and the lights began to blink. , preparing for the million-year leap.

The flight itself to primeval Java took a moment. But the feeling was unpleasant, especially if you are traveling for the first time. It’s as if you’re falling into an endless abyss and you’re being spun around so that it’s unclear where is up and where is down...

The cabin stood on top of a low hill overgrown with grass and small bushes above a winding river.

Richard opened the door and the guys poured out of the cabin like peas. The smell of hot, humid, fragrant air hit their faces.

– Don’t go anywhere without my permission! - Richard ordered. - Is it dangerous.

“Well,” said Pashka, “it’s not bad here.” You can stay.

A large fly flew up to Pashka and tried to sit on him.

“Don’t pester me,” Pashka told her. - Maybe you're a biter.

- And probably poisonous! - Alice remarked.

Pashka took a step back. The fly is behind him. Pashka walked away a few steps, the fly not far behind. Pashka jumped back... but then Richard said:

- Quiet. Otherwise I won’t take children anymore. I believed you that you are real scientists...

“Look,” said Javad. - By the river…

And then they saw Pithecanthropus.

Human ancestors turned out to be chimpanzee-like monkeys, the size of a ten-year-old child. From the hill one could see how some of them moved from place to place on their hind limbs, without touching the ground with their hands, and one large Pithecanthropus, probably the leader, held a thick stick in his hand.

“Look,” Javad whispered, “a child.”

One of the Pithecanthropus, smaller than the others, turned his head in their direction, put his hand to his eyes so that the sun would not interfere, and tried to see who was visiting there. His mother slapped the teenager on the head and he began to cry.

-Can I come closer? - asked Alice.

“No way,” said Richard. “We have been looking for this herd for almost two years. And if it changes its location, you will have to look for it again. Look!

A huge striped tiger with fangs so large that they looked like sabers suddenly jumped out from behind the trees. The tiger pressed himself to the ground for a second and jumped.

With a squeal, the Pithecanthropus scattered. Only the leader of the herd tried to cover the rest with himself by raising a stick.

The tiger missed - the leader managed to jump away and fly up a tree. The predator looked around, looking for its next victim.

She turned out to be a teenage Pithecanthropus who did not think to climb a tree, but ran along the open hillside. The tiger rushed after him.

- Into the cabin! – Richard shouted, grabbing the hand of Alice, who stood closest to him.

Alice didn’t have time to figure out how she ended up in the cabin.

Javad and Arkasha squeezed in behind her.

- Pashka! - Richard shouted. - Don't go crazy!

Through the transparent wall of the cabin it was visible that Pashka was running towards the screeching Pithecanthropus, and a saber-toothed tiger was jumping towards them.

Pashka managed to catch the fugitive at the moment when the tiger was ready to close its fangs, and Richard saved them, snatching a pistol and putting a sleeping bullet into the tiger’s muzzle.

The tiger fell to the ground, paws up, and began to snore.

Pashka, hugging the Pithecanthropus, squeezed into the cabin, Richard followed them.

And then Richard realized that there were more passengers.

“You’re crazy,” he said indignantly. “Release the animal now.”

But the animal apparently realized what was threatening him, and clung to Pashka so tightly that it was impossible to tear him away. Moreover, the Pithecanthropus squealed as if Richard wanted to kill him.

The cabin door slowly closed.

- Do you understand that with excess cargo we may not get home at all? – Richard tried to tear the pithecanthropus away from Pashka.

“It’s too late,” said Arkasha.

And he was right, because the light in the cabin dimmed and the rapid fall began again. The cabin rushed through time...

Door opened. They were in a familiar laboratory. The little woman who was in charge of the flight said indignantly:

– This is completely unacceptable. You have collected so many trophies that it has become a terrible overload. I can’t imagine how they managed to get you out... Ah!

A frightened Pithecanthropus jumped out of the cabin, who immediately climbed onto the table, bristled, bared his teeth, showing that he would not surrender to his enemies easily.

“Wow,” said one of the operators. - Well, you'll get a kick out of it, Richard, from the director. You can’t take living beings from the past. Have you forgotten?

“If we hadn’t taken him,” said Richard, “the tiger would have devoured him... But what to do with him?” Send it back? And the herd had already run away.

Then Pashka came out of the cabin, the young Pithecanthropus squealed, rushed to him and hugged him like a lost brother. And it was not possible to separate Pashka from the Pithecanthropus.

So at the biological station on Gogolevsky Boulevard a new inhabitant appeared, who was dubbed Hercules and they began to wait for him to turn into a man.

But Hercules is in no hurry. He is satisfied with the share of Pithecanthropus.

“A Million Adventures” is a book for children written by Kir Bulychev. The writer's language is as simple as it is rich, so the book is easy to read and with great interest. It includes four stories about the girl Alisa Selezneva, familiar to readers from the author’s previous works. Here Alice has become more mature, although her passion for adventure has not subsided at all. She made a good friend Pashka, an adventurer just like the girl herself. Together they made a wonderful tandem.

In Moscow, at the station for young biologists, Alice meets Hercules. He is a Pithecanthropus who was brought to Moscow from the past. He performs unique feats and participates in Alice's experiments, which sometimes lead to very interesting consequences.

On planet Penelope, Alice's class is on a field trip. Pashka manages to get into the Middle Ages and become a real knight. There he will make a fuss, believing that there is no place for slavery in the world, and that witches should not be burned at the stake. Alice will become a princess who will try with all her might to bring her friend home.

On the planet itself, the guys will have to face considerable difficulties. The planet has a mind of its own and rebels against those who are responsible for disasters. The problem is that it doesn't differentiate between good and bad.

Having arrived on another planet, friends find themselves in quarantine. They are informed about the spread of the epidemic. But it soon becomes clear that all this is the work of pirates, with whom they now face a serious struggle.

On our website you can download the book “A Million Adventures” by Kir Bulychev for free and without registration in fb2, rtf, epub, pdf, txt format, read the book online or buy the book in the online store.

Kir Bulychev

A Million Adventures

A Million Adventures

New labors of Hercules

Augean laboratory

The spring morning began peacefully, but ended in a big scandal.

Arkasha came first, as always. He hurried to the plot where he grew sentient flowers. All plants can feel, but try to understand their feelings.

At the sight of Arkasha, the flowers nodded their heads; they opened the petals, moved the leaves and feigned joy. Arkasha connected the hose and began to water his pets with warm vitamin water.

Then Javad came. He fed the animals in the cages and released the Pithecanthropus Hercules, who immediately rushed to the house where three dogs were spending the night - Polkan, Ruslan and Sultan, who, oddly enough, were sisters. The dogs worked for geologists in the summer and searched for ore and fossil bones deep underground by smell. But the season had not yet begun, so the sisters were on vacation and were friends with Hercules. And he skillfully used this friendship and had breakfast twice - at his place and at the dogs'.

The twins Masha and Natasha came running, thin, big-eyed, with identical abrasions on their knees. They are so similar that you can’t tell them apart, but in fact they are completely different people. Masha is serious and assures that she only loves science. And Natasha is terribly frivolous and loves not so much science as animals and dancing. At the sight of Masha and Natasha, the dolphins Grishka and Medea leaned out of the pool up to their waists - they had missed each other overnight.

Alisa Selezneva was late. She went to the Space Center to arrange an excursion to the planet Penelope. But Alice was told that it was unknown whether there would be places, and she was asked to come in a month. Alice was upset; she didn’t even notice how Hercules approached with his hand outstretched. Either he wanted to say hello, or he was hoping for a treat.

Alice disappeared into a low laboratory building to leave her bag there and change clothes, and when she came out, she angrily declared:

This is not a laboratory, but an Augean stables!

Hercules, who was waiting for her at the entrance, did not answer anything, because he had never read Greek myths, and besides, he knew only edible words. No matter how much he was taught, he did not go beyond the words “banana”, “apple”, “milk”, “sugar”.

But Mashenka Belaya heard Alice’s exclamation.

Of course,” she said. - Pashka Geraskin sat there until late at night yesterday, but didn’t bother to clean up after himself.

“And here he is,” said Natasha Belaya. - Easy to remember.

Pashka Geraskin slowly walked towards the station along the coconut alley and read a book as he walked. On the cover it was written in large letters:

"Myths of Ancient Greece".

Pay attention,” Mashenka Belaya said sarcastically. - This young man wants to know how the Augean stables are cleaned.

Pashka heard, stopped, laid the page with his finger and said:

I can tell you that Hercules means “performing feats due to the persecution of Hera.” By the way, Hera is the wife of Zeus.

Pithecanthropus Hercules heard his name and said:

Give me a banana.

Pashka looked at him thoughtfully and said:

No, you won’t accomplish any feats. Didn't grow taller.

Listen, Pashka,” said Alice gloomily. - What did you do in the laboratory? You might think that no one had cleaned it there for thirty years.

“When I have ideas,” Pashka answered, “I don’t pay attention to the little things in life.”

“And we are converting,” said Mashenka.

Don’t make noise,” said Pashka. - I'll clean everything up. In half an hour everything will be in order.

The legend is fresh, but hard to believe,” said Arkasha. “I suggest taking away Pashka’s book while cleaning: he’ll read it and forget everything.”

After a short fight, Pashka lost his book and retired to the laboratory to lick his wounds and think about revenge.

He didn’t want to clean, it was a boring task. He went to the window. Mashenka was sitting on the edge of the pool, cards with numbers were laid out next to her. The dolphins were cramming the multiplication table. Next to her, Natasha was weaving a wreath of the first yellow dandelions. Javad was arguing with Alice about something, and a boring, stupid, curious giraffe, the Villain, with one horn in the middle of his forehead, towered over them.

“How did I manage to make such a mess?” - Pashka was amazed.

Scattered on the floor were crumpled sheets of paper, scraps of tapes, soil samples, branches, orange peels, shavings, fragments of broken flasks, glass slides, nut shells - traces of yesterday's hectic activity, when Pashka was seized by the brilliant idea of ​​​​creating an animal without lungs and gills for life in airless space. The idea burst at about eleven o'clock, just then his mother called and demanded that he come home.

There are disadvantages, Pashka thought, to the fact that you are an enthusiast and live among enthusiasts. The guys, including Pashka, spent all their free time at the station, rushing straight from school to their animals and plants, and on Saturday and Sunday they often sat there from morning to evening. Pashka’s mother grumbled that he had completely abandoned sports and was making mistakes in his essays. And during the holidays, the guys were going to the planet Penelope, to real, unexplored jungles - would you really refuse that?

Sighing, Pashka took a sponge and began to wipe the laboratory table, throwing unnecessary rubbish onto the floor. “It’s a pity,” he thought, “that the book of myths was taken away. Now I would like to read how Hercules cleaned the Augean stables. Maybe he was cheating?

When Javad looked into the laboratory half an hour later, Pashka had already wiped all the tables, put the flasks and microscopes in their places, put the instruments in the cabinets, but there was more garbage on the floor.

How much longer will you be digging? - Javad asked. - May I help?

“I can handle it,” said Pashka. - Five more minutes.

He shoveled the garbage towards the middle of the room with a brush, making a mountain almost up to his waist.

Javad left, and Pashka stopped in front of the mountain and thought about how to take it out in one go.

At that moment, the face of Pithecanthropus Hercules appeared in the open window. At the sight of the trash, he even groaned with pleasure.

And Pashka had a happy thought.

Come here,” he said.

Hercules immediately jumped out the window.

“I trust you with a matter of great importance,” said Pashka. - If you take all this out of our Augean laboratory, you will get a banana.

Hercules thought, strained his undeveloped brain and said:

Two bananas.

“Okay, two bananas,” Pashka agreed. “I have to run home now so that everything is clean when I arrive.”

“Bu-sde,” said the Pithecanthropus.

Pashka’s request did not surprise Hercules. It was often used in all sorts of jobs where great intelligence was not required. True, he didn’t do anything for free.

Pashka looked out the window. No one. He jumped over the window sill and ran home.

Hercules looked at the trash and scratched the back of his head. The pile was big, you couldn’t take it out at once. And Hercules was a great lazy man. He thought for a full minute about how to earn bananas without effort. And I realized.

In the clearing next to the laboratory there was a watering hose. Hercules knew how to use it, and in hot weather he lay in wait for passers-by, doused them from head to toe and hooted with joy.

He jumped out of the laboratory, turned the tap and launched a stream of water into the laboratory. The stream was not strong, and a large puddle immediately appeared on the floor in which garbage was spinning. This did not satisfy Pithecanthropus. He turned the faucet all the way and, clutching the unruly end of the hose with his paws, directed a thick stream into the dirty swamp that used to be a laboratory.

The jet hit the trash. Papers, rags, fragments, pieces of wood were carried to the far wall. The hose twitched in the hands of Hercules, and it is not surprising that the stream also washed away what was on the tables - flasks, instruments, flasks and test tubes. It’s good that the microscope survived and the cabinets didn’t break.

The laboratory door swung open due to the pressure of water, and a mighty river burst out from there, which carried a lot of things, knocked Arkasha off her feet and swirled in whirlpools around the legs of the Villain’s giraffe.

It dawned on Hercules what he had done. He threw down the hose, quickly climbed up the mango tree, picked the fruit and began to clean it, pretending that he had nothing to do with it.

Pashka returned about five minutes later, when everyone had already scolded him to their hearts' content. In the end, Natasha Belaya even felt sorry for him, because he was the most upset.

Arkasha returned him the book “Myths of Ancient Greece” and said:

You haven’t read to the most interesting part and don’t know that our Pithecanthropus cleaned the laboratory according to an ancient recipe.

How so? - Pashka was surprised.

The real, ancient Hercules took the neighboring river to the Augean stables.

“It’s a complete coincidence,” said Mashenka Belaya. - With one exception: there were no microscopes in the Augean stables.

Very briefly The adventures of a schoolgirl from the 21st century, who explores the depths of the ocean and alien jungles, experiences an adventure in the world of knights and saves the entire planet from space pirates.

Part I. New labors of Hercules

Moscow, end of the 21st century. Schoolgirl Alisa Seleznyova and her friends spend all their free time at the station of young naturalists.

That morning, Alice discovered that Pashka Geraskin was conducting experiments in the laboratory and turned it into Augean stables, and forced him to clean up after himself. He swept all the garbage into a huge pile, but was too lazy to take it out of the laboratory, entrusted this to the Pithecanthropus Hercules who lived at the station and left. Pithecanthropus followed the example of his mythological namesake - he directed a powerful stream of water from a garden hose into the laboratory window. The water carried out not only the garbage, but also all the laboratory equipment. They didn’t scold Pashka when he returned - he was the most upset of all.

Pithecanthropus appeared at the station after the guys' excursion into the past. Young biologists went to see “when and how the monkey turned into a man,” and Pashka saved a young Pithecanthropus from a saber-toothed tiger.

Pithecanthropus was taken with them, named Hercules and settled at the station. Everyone expected him to begin to evolve, but Hercules was “satisfied with the share of Pithecanthropus.” He was very lazy, learned only “edible” words and loved his savior Pashka “like a lost brother.”

Botanist Arkasha Sapozhkov wanted to grow striped apple apples from the planet Penelope, but along with the seeds of the apple apples, prickly Penelope weeds got into the garden bed and drowned out the harvest. It was impossible to weed them out - a square meter of soil was turned out along with the weed root.

Arkasha went to the Institute of Time and begged for an experimental time screen - a large canvas under which time goes backwards. The screen was placed above the apple apple plot. Under its influence, time should have “rolled back” two days ago, when there were no weeds yet.

The screen was turned on, but the young operator was frightened by the seven-meter python that lived at the station and fell into the pool with dolphins, simultaneously hitting the control panel. The screen was working at full capacity. A rooster walked under it and turned into an egg. Hercules decided to eat the egg and also climbed under the screen. Alice saw this and pulled the Pithecanthropus out from under the device. As a result, all the plants disappeared from the garden bed, Pithecanthropus became six months younger, and Alice became younger by two weeks, and from that day on, she celebrated her birthday twice a year.

Arkasha was fond of breeding sentient plants. A famous botanist-psychologist gave him a stimulant powder. Even an ordinary plant sprinkled with this powder became sentient.

One day the guys gathered to pick mushrooms, but Arkasha believed that picking mushrooms was inhumane.

In science there will always be someone with extreme views, but we must look for the golden mean.

Mushrooms grew in dense thickets in the center of Moscow, which by the end of the 21st century had become 50% forest. Arkasha went there and sprinkled the mushrooms with stimulant powder.

Arriving in the forest in the morning, the guys discovered that all the edible mushrooms had gathered in the clearing, surrounding themselves with an army of fly agaric defenders and a barrier of woven branches. The guys immediately realized that this was Arkasha’s doing, and as punishment they forced him to collect three baskets of mushrooms. But Arkasha never raised the hand to tear them.

In the forest, Pasha was bitten by mosquitoes, and he decided to breed migratory mosquitoes so that they would fly to the Arctic for the summer. He crossed a mosquito with a goose, and the result was a goose - a terrible creature with a half-meter sting. The Komgoose did not want to fly to the Arctic, but wanted to have lunch, broke out of the cage and drove the guys into the pool. Hercules neutralized the monster by picking up a stick for the first time.

The guys' friend, underwater archaeologist Stas, took them on an expedition to the Mediterranean island of Probos, where the remains of the fleet of the legendary tyrant Diostur were found. According to legend, the fleet disappeared when Zeus threw a star at it.

Alice took the intelligent dolphins with her from the station. One day the girl swam with them to explore a distant bay. The swallowed pill allowed her to breathe underwater for three hours. There, Alice discovered a crashed alien starship. Having freed the hatch littered with stones, the girl got inside and accidentally woke up a four-armed alien sleeping in a suspended animation bath.

The alien turned out to be a tyrant, expelled from his own planet. He flew to Earth to conquer it, but crashed. The ancient Greeks mistook a spaceship for a falling star. The tyrant spent three thousand years at the bottom of the sea, first planning to reward the savior, then to let him live, and then to kill him.

Now the tyrant decided to take the form of Alice and conquer the Earth in this form.

All living beings are divided into weak and strong, smart and stupid. The stupid and weak are destined to be enslaved by the strong.

Stas saved Alisa - the dolphins called him. The gloomy tyrant could not understand how one can make friends with fish, and what friendship is.

Part II. Foreign Princess

During the holidays, young naturalists went to the planet Penelope. This newly discovered planet was a real paradise. There were no large predators, poisonous plants or even mosquitoes. But Penelope was far from other star systems, so only scientists flew to her. They built the only city on the planet - Jangle... Instead of an ellipsis, the inhabitants of Penelope added any ending they liked - Jangletom, Jangleval and even Janglepoop.

The guys had to fly to Penelope, where biologist Svetlana was waiting for them, on their own. Pashka Geraskin was even accompanied to school by his grandmother, but he had never been in space. They released him only when Alice vouched for her friend.

Pashka was full of romance and thirsted for adventure. Arriving at Penelope, the guys stopped at a hotel to wait for Svetlana and go with her into the unexplored jungle. Soon Alice discovered that Pashka had disappeared. She decided to find him before Svetlana arrived.

The trail led Alice to Souvenir Street, built in the old style, to the “Everything for a Spy” store. The owner of the store, Balthasarus Fuchs, bald, wearing dark glasses and with a huge nose, admitted that he sold Pashka a ticket to the “knightly” planet. He could not return the boy, but agreed to send Alice there.

Having provided the girl with a long dress, a pass to the city and a document in the name of a foreign princess, a relative of the queen-stepmother, Fuuks put her on a rusty, antique rocket standing in his yard and told her not to believe anything. The rocket made a super-hyper jump and landed in a forest clearing.

Walking along the path, Alice came out onto a trampled and dirty wasteland, where she met an elderly and bald man who called himself the royal jester. The day before yesterday there was a knight's battle here, and the jester was collecting broken armor to sell it for scrap.

The jester saw Pashka, gave him armor and weapons, and even helped him draw a coat of arms on his shield - a red arrow.

A real knight will take everything without money. This is the custom of knights.

Undertaking to escort Alice into the city, the cunning jester forced her to drag a heavy cart with armor. On the way, the jester said that they live backwards, the people are oppressed by “a handful of knights and princes,” and the Renaissance still won’t begin.

Not far from the city, they met the angry Marquis Fafifax - the Knight of the Red Arrow freed the slaves he was leading for sale. Now he was going to complain about the bully to the king. The Marquis reluctantly lent the “foreign princess” his squire Griko to drag a heavy wheelbarrow. To her surprise, Alice learned that the city on this planet is also called Jangle... .

Alice, as a princess, was given a room in the palace, where Grieco undertook to take her. The jester decided to find the unlucky Pashka before he did anything else, but he could not find him, and together with Alice he hurried to the royal dinner in order to get ahead of the sneaky marquis.

At dinner, Alice saw the king and the queen-stepmother Isabella, an amazingly beautiful young woman. She married the father of the current king, became a widow and now lives in the palace as if in captivity, every day expecting that the bishop would poison her. Isabella pretended to recognize Alice and also began to help her.

The king listened to the complaints of the courtiers about the Knight of the Red Arrow, who, unlike real knights, protected the weak. It turned out that Pashka freed a three-year-old girl whom the bishop was going to burn as a witch. This was punishable by execution.

The king decided to deal with Pashka when he was caught, and ordered the knightly tournament to begin. While the knights were fighting, the jester found Pashka in the house of the witch he had saved, but he flatly refused to return home until he fought the offenders.

At the end of the tournament, the winner, the Black Wolf Knight, challenged anyone to a fight. Marquis Fafifax volunteered, but then the Knight of the Red Arrow rode onto the field and challenged both knights to battle. The king allowed the fight, hoping that someone would catch him. Thanks to his own dexterity and the help of Griko, Pashka won, the king handed him a crystal goblet, and then ordered his arrest.

The trial went very quickly. The bishop's main witness was a three-year-old witch, who confirmed that it was Pashka who saved her.

If you believe in witches, you have to believe that they can pretend to be girls.

The bishop demanded that they both be sent to the stake, but the king humanely ordered their heads to be cut off.

With the help of Alice and new friends - Isabella and the jester - Pashka escaped execution. The guys rushed off in a carriage prepared in advance by Isabella, taking with them the little witch. The chase did not stop them from reaching the rusty rocket and heading home.

Arriving at Penelope, the guys were amazed to learn that the witch was the daughter of Fuchs, and under the clothes of the store owner, Alice saw the multi-colored costume of the royal jester.

Fuchs, as promised, delayed the time, and the friends arrived just in time for the arrival of Svetlana, who turned out to be a copy of the queen-stepmother. Without admitting anything, she returned Pashkin’s knife, which he had lost in another Jangle... .

Part III. Holidays on Penelope

Young biologists set up camp in the unexplored jungle of Penelope. Once Mashenka Belaya plunged into an inflatable bathyscaphe to the bottom of the lake to explore the underwater world. Suddenly someone started fishing with a net, although this was prohibited in Penelope. At that moment, two huge and toothy fish swam out from the depths of the lake and began to tear the net, but it turned out to be too strong. Then the angry fish crippled Masha's bathyscaphe - she barely managed to get out of it.

On the shore, Masha saw a man who called himself a principled savage and declared that he lived “in complete harmony with nature,” and he caught fish because he was hungry. Masha invited him to the camp for dinner.

The savage, who turned out to be a nice guy, appeared at the camp in the evening and immediately began to woo the beautiful Svetlana. The Savage seemed strange to her - why catch fish with a net if there are fishing rods.

The next day, Svetlana, Alisa and Pashka went to explore the plateau and accidentally stumbled upon a road paved with stones, which led them to the ruins of the city. There they unexpectedly met the Savage. He undertook to escort the biologists to the camp and protect them from predators that had not yet been seen on Penelope.

Any self-respecting planet has lions or dragons. You just need to find them... to kill them... And skin them. Before they have time to skin you.

Pashka, who had not learned anything from adventures in another Jungle..., began to imitate the Savage in everything. To the surprise and fear of the biologists, they actually met a predator - a huge tiger rat - and Svetlana had to shoot it with a stun gun. It turned out that they knew nothing about Penelope.

Svetlana decided to take the children to Jungle..., but the chief inspector of the planet's reserve reported that the city was destroyed by an earthquake, and all tourists would soon be taken from Penelope.

In the morning, despite Svetlana’s ban, Pashka escaped from the camp and went to visit the Savage. On the way, Pashka was almost eaten by a huge multi-headed snake, but the Savage, who arrived in time, saved him and took him to his tent, littered with animal skins.

The savage told Pashka that he and Svetlana had been in love with each other for a long time, but their happiness was being hindered by the chief inspector - “a cruel and evil old man.” He will not forgive Svetlana if she leaves with her beloved, so the Savage decided to kidnap her. Of course, the kidnapping will not be real - Svetlana already knows about his plans. The savage asked Pashka to return to the camp and not to leave Svetlana, and after the “kidnapping” on a spaceship hidden near the destroyed city, to raise the alarm.

In the evening, an inspector came to pick up the biologists. Pashka decided to save the lovers and broke the expeditionary all-terrain vehicle, and then hurried to the Savage’s tent. He was not at home, and in the tent the boy saw a weapon, a space suit, a space transmitter and decided that the Savage was a scout-pathfinder.

When a person wants to believe his friend, he will always find an excuse.

Pashka ran to the destroyed city. Meanwhile, Alice suspected that Pashka had ruined the all-terrain vehicle in order to stay with the Savage, and went to look for him. At the Savage's tent, she heard the sound of an explosion coming from the direction of the destroyed city, and hurried there.

On the way, Alice met a tiger rat. He turned out to be the speaker and told people to get away from Penelope. From further conversation with the girl, the tiger-rats found out that people act independently, and not as a collective mind, and left puzzled.

Pashka found the Savage, who turned out to be a space pirate and poacher. He didn’t need Svetlana - he just wanted the boy not to get in the way. He flew to Penelope for treasures that the previous inhabitants had left here and valuable fur.

Seeing Alice out of breath, the pirate realized that he had been exposed and took Pashka hostage. An inspector arrived at the spacecraft takeoff site and contacted the space patrol. And then the green snake spoke to them.

It turned out that the planet Penelope is intelligent. All its inhabitants are itself, and the planet can speak through any of them. Penelope expelled the former inhabitants because they hurt her - they cut down trees, killed animals, dug holes. The people treated Penelope kindly and she tolerated them, but the Savage hurt her again and she became angry. The planet did not suspect that people rarely act together.

Meanwhile, the space patrol captured the pirate ship that was waiting for the Savage, and he surrendered. Alice, the inspector and the talking snake returned to the camp and scared Svetlana into fainting.

Part IV. Pirate Mom's Box

By the end of the holidays, the biologists had become friends with Penelope. Before leaving, Alice received a letter from the planet Brastak from her friend, the archaeologist Rrrrr, who looked like a one-eyed and tailless kitten. He invited Alice to taste the skrrrules at the great holiday, which was celebrated every three years.

The next morning Alice went to Brastak. She did not take Pashka, who also wanted to try the skrrruli, with her, and he snuck onto the space liner, disguised as a tourist from Pilageya.

On Brastak my friends were met by a yellow-eyed “kitten” Mmmm. He declared that there was an epidemic on the planet and locked them in a hotel room until the next plane arrived.

The food delivery system in the room did not work - instead of food, a note jumped out of it. The planet was captured by space pirates, and the Brastaks asked to report this to the Galactic Center. Alisa decided to continue pretending to be a naive tourist, although Pashka was eager to fight.

Soon the wounded Rrrrr snuck into their room and said that pirates had appeared on Brastak unexpectedly, as if out of thin air, and captured it in a few minutes. There were also traitors among the Brastaks.

When a conqueror comes, there are almost always those who think that it is more profitable for them to be on the side of the stronger.

The character of a brat can be determined by the color of its eyes. Good brats have blue, gray or green eyes, while bad ones have yellow or orange eyes. When the character of the brat is corrected, the color of the eye also changes.

All the yellow-eyed brastaks began to serve the pirates, and the blue-eyed ones were driven into the camp and are going to brutally deal with them. Alisa and Pashka are their last hope. In two days the ship they must board will arrive. All this time Pashka will have to pretend to be a Pilagean tourist.

The next day, Alice managed to find out about the pirates' plans. They were going to hide her somewhere, but the pirates did not expose Pashka and were going to bribe the stupid “Pilagean tourist.” Alisa persuaded Pashka to stay and not go out of character.

Alice was taken away, and Rat, a pirate who could transform into any living creature, came to Pashka. He took the “pilagey” to his mother, the head of the pirate gang. The pirate mother turned out to be a beauty with a gentle voice, but very cruel and greedy. She gave Pashka a box of precious stones in exchange for a favor: he would have to guide the Rat onto the ship, who would turn into Alice.

The girl was put in a cramped Brastak prison. Alice learned from the jailer that the looted treasures do not fit into the small pirate ship, so the pirates are going to capture a large liner, and a “Pilagean tourist” will help them get onto it.

Alice got out of the prison by breaking its roof, and a few hours later she was already at the spaceport. Pashka and Rat were already entering the automatic planetary boat. Alice rushed towards them and a fight ensued. During this time, the boat managed to reach the liner. Alice explained everything to the captain, and Rat unexpectedly gave in easily.

The captain sent a message to the Galactic Council and remained in orbit to wait for the patrol cruiser, while the children went to lunch. And suddenly it turned out that the liner was captured by pirates. Pashka, without knowing it, carried them to the ship in a pirate mother’s box, which could shrink people - the whole gang could fit in it. This is how they captured Brastak.

Everyone was saved by the ship's doctor, who sprayed an experimental substance into the air that causes an irresistible attack of laziness.

Laziness is an atavism, that is, a dying property of a person. The man of the future will forget about this feeling.

It had a particularly strong effect on the pirates. The mother even took off her mask and turned out to be extremely ugly. Only the captain remained cheerful, tied up the pirates and waited for the patrol boat.

Soon the guys were already home. Pashka really enjoyed the adventure, he only regretted one thing - that he didn’t try the skrrrules.